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Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The Decade In Horror:1984

1984 is one of my favorite horror years. Again, horror was seeming to fall from the graces of movie fans, as evidenced by the diminishing number of genre releases that year. But again, most of the releases were again of high quality, we got the best F13 installment and the best and inagural installment of NOES, here are some faves:

The Decade In Horror:1983

1983 is really an underrated year in horror. The films that were coming out were moving further away from the traditional slasher formula's, and dare I say, they were becoming more classy. Although not many were released that year, most of the films were of a high calibre. Here are a few of my faves:

Sunday, December 27, 2009

The Decade In Horror:1982

By the time that 1982 arrived, we had seen a lot of slasher/horror films come and go. The filmmakers started realizing that they needed to change up some things to attract the audiences. So in 1982 we started to see some variety in the typical horror productions. Ghost films, or supernatural Horror was making a comeback(Amityville Series, Poltergeist, The Entity). While the typical slasher films were still in vogue(F13 Series,The Prowler, Etc), it was a heyday for us slasher fans, and you will still here those of us who were old to remember, wax very nostalgically about those days. Here are a few of my faves from 1982:

The Decade Of Horror:1981

Depending on how you looked at things, the deluge of slasher films that really began in 1980, was either a good or a bad thing, or both. I think that it was both. Firstly, I liked that there was a new slasher/ horror film in the theatres every week. Hell sometimes, there were 2 or 3 new ones debuting in the same week. Some folks claimed that they only liked "quality" films, and all of these "knockoff" films somehow cheapened the genre. I was and still am to this day, a fan of all horror. I love the cheap, bottom of the barrel stuff, in the same ways that I like a film like The Exorcist, which is one of the pinnacles of horror cinema. The detractors were right in a way, the more of these films that were successful, 20 more came out that weren't. The public grew tired of these films, which eventually led to it's downfall in the late 80's. We also know that the hardcore fans stuck by, through dreary times, by re watching these early 80's classics. And, a decade later, the genre was resurrected by Wes Craven, a die-hard from the first generation of slashers. These films are like treasures to me and many other fans, there is something so charming about the way a Horror nut can pontificate about Radish from Final Exam being the prototype for Craven's Scream character Randy. Or the life of Pamela Voorhees before she became the mother of Jason, it's a way for us to live vicariously through these movies and characters, and who doesn't wanna escape reality, every now and again? Enjoy these images from some of my favorites from 1981:

Thursday, December 24, 2009

The Decade In Horror:1980

I am of firm belief that there is no better decade for horror than the 1980's. Sure, there is great horror from every decade, but the 80's were the most consistent for having the best, most cheesy, over the top, gory, fun, fright flicks! 1980 in particular, is a favorite of mine. Back then posters were still a work of a art, that lured unsuspecting movie goers into the theatres. Now all we get are horrible photoshopped images slapped onto DVD releases, with no thought for art, or buying appeal. Here are a few examples from 1980, of my favorite films, and cool poster art:

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Ho Ho Horror!

If you are like me, you don't need an excuse to watch a horror movie. But holidays make it all the more fun to try an unearth some horror devoted to the holiday that you are celebrating. Christmas in one of the most prolific horror month, as their are tons of Christmas themed horror out there. Most of them are horrible(Jack Frost, Santa Claws), there are a few notable exceptions out there. This time Christmas means a 4-day weekend, so what better to do than lie around and stuff your face and watch movies. Here are some of my Christmas faves:

Monday, December 21, 2009

R.I.P Brittany Murphy

Well, another day, and another celebrity dead. I kind of liked Brittany Murphy, she always seemed to be a rebel and a recluse among the Hollywood Elite. I didn't really dig a lot of her films, aside from Clueless, and Spun(check that one out!). But it's sad that a life so young is lost. Early reports are saying that she died of normal causes, and that it was Cardiac Arrest. Well, there is nothing normal about a 32-year old dying from a heart attack. Lots of reports say that Brittany was involved with drugs, so that sounds the most legit. Either that, or she was seriously anorexic! Recent photos she really look that way, and that could definitely put a strain on her heart. Well, as they say, only the good die young!

Friday, December 18, 2009

R.I.P Dan O Bannon

Damn, if the horror community aren't losing a lot of valued folks lately. On December 17th Horror director/writer extraordinaire Dan O Bannon died. He directed the classic film Return Of The Living Dead, that is in my opinion, the best Zombie film ever made! He also wrote the screenplays for the majority of the Alien films. Dan you will be missed.

The Hangover(2009)

Usually, I am not a fan of comedies, especially comedies made by major studios. Sure there have been guilty pleasures along the way, but a comedy is usually the last thing that I reach for. Gone are the days when major studios released films like the Porky's franchise....I mean good raunchy fun. In honesty, I only wanted to see The Hangover because Zach Galafianakis was in it. His strange brand of stand-up left me enamoured a few years ago, and in my opinion, he is very easy on the eyes. Well, last night I watched The Hangover, and I really wasn't expecting much. I can proudly report that I was VERY wrong! I haven't laughed this hard in a film in a long time. That's usually the reason that I dislike comedy, because 90% of it.....is NOT funny! Men sticking their dicks into pies does not pass as good comedy to me.
I really am not familiar with much of the cast of The Hangover, aside from Zach G, and Heather Graham(whom I adore), the only people I recognized were Jeffrey Tambor, and the guy who played Day-Day in the Friday sequels(Omar Epps, if I am correct). That did not stop this film from being a non-stop roller coaster ride of laughs. I am really hesitant to go into any kind of detailed plot description, because I hate major spoilers. Let's just say that it's a bachelor party in Vegas gone horribly wrong! This makes the 80's Bachelor Party look like child's play. If you really like comedy, or hell, if you don't like myself, chances are, that you will love this film. Go on, take a chance!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009


Sometimes I still see films that shock me, yes me, the most hardened of horror movie fans. Hanger absolutely shocked the shit out of me! Not because it's a great film by any means, but by the boundaries that Ryan Nicholson and the gang over at Plotdigger films consistently shit all over and bring new and shocking cinema back into the light. I really enjoyed Gutterballs, and this is made by the same guys, so I had really high hopes for this film. Then I read that Ryan said that this film was his homage to the films of Lloyd Kauffman(Troma), and the my expectations were suddenly lowered. It's not a horrible film, I can say that I liked it, and will surely watch it again(if only to gross out my friends), but don't go into thinking that this is the same beast as Gutterballs.

The film begins with Rose, who is a prostitute, and also very pregnant. Her pimp is very pissed at her for not aborting the baby, thus causing him money problems, because in his own words, "nobody wants to fuck a fat bitch". So one night he decides to abort the baby on his own, although it's readily apparent that she is at least 8 months along. He performs a very visceral abortion on Rose with a hanger, which kills Rose, and deforms the baby beyond belief. The kid, who they also call Hanger, was raised by a homeless man until he was 18 years old. Until his real father(Dan Ellis from Gutterballs) shows up and gets him an apartment and a job at a trash compacter. He lives with another mutant named Russell, who has a big preoccupation with porn, but it never seems to explain why there are a large number of mutants in the film. I guess just to make it more Troma-esque.

The father and Hanger decide that they are gonna get Leroy The Pimp back for killing Rose, and they will stop at nothing, and no one will get in their way. I don't wanna give to much away, and I want to stress that this film isn't for the average horror fan. It's almost like if John Waters would have made one of the "Guinea Pig" films. There are lots of sexual moments like in Gutterballs, you straight boys will love the 6-8 minute masturbation scene of Candace Lewald. There is something to offend everyone in this film, the aforementioned abortion scene is horrible, but it has nothing on the scene where a Mutant fucks Hanger in the hole where his Colostomy bag goes! Or where the said bag is emptied in the Mutant's face......uggghhhhhh!! You will know if this kind of thing is for you. If it offended me, I know you will be sickened, proceed with grace. 7/10

Tuesday, December 1, 2009


Holy Crap!! A new contender for the biggest "shit pickle" of all time. I mean that in the nicest way possible. I knew what I was getting myself into with a movie called Thankskilling in the first place. Let me say that I usually do not like "Horror-Comedy" or very many Troma films. I prefer horror films to be atmospheric and devoid of humour, but I enjoy one from time to time.

This movie is:



Badly Acted.

But......it is also LOADS of fun!! C'mon a murdering turkey that is resurrected every 505 years to kill white people! That same turkey also talks, curses, rapes women, makes like Ed Gein and sews a flesh mask! It's too much fun to miss out on because of it's limitations. If you are a bad movie aficionado like myself, rush out and rent a copy! The acting is SO bad that it rivals Tommy Wiseau's now-famous performance in The Room. Plus, it only clocks in at an hour, so it doesn't have time to get on your nerves as much. Go on, I dare ya.

Paul Naschy(1934-2009)

Yesterday, the horror world lost an important icon. Paul Naschy(born Jacinto Molina) passed away from cancer. He was the Spanish equivalent to Vincent Price, or Boris Karloff. He starred in hundreds of genre films throughout his career, even directing many of them. He was handsome and talented, and I am definitely gonna miss him. At least we have a vast amount of work to revisit and appreciate Paul's talents, if you are not familiar, rent one of his films. You are definitely up for a fun night of horror......RIP Paul!

Dealing With It.

So far, I haven't used this blog for anything personal, maybe here or there. So for those who do not know me personally, my Mom Helen, had a massive stroke 3/4 years ago. Aside from Jeff, my partner, my Mom is my world. She raised me alone, we never had much money, but she overcompensated for those shortcomings with love. Sometimes she worked as many as 3 jobs, to make sure that us kids had what we needed. She always encouraged me in everything, be that horror movies, playing in bands, or being gay. She was always like my best friend.

After the first stroke, she suffered many other small strokes, and finally was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease. Jeff quit his job and gave up his entire life to stay at home and take care of Mom. I have never met a more selfless person than he, not many people would do that for their own Mom, let alone someone else's. Mother's condition kept on deteriorating, until we could no longer keep her at home. She needed 24/7 supervision, not to mention being lifted and carried everywhere she went. I knew that she needed to be in a Nursing Home, but I had promised her earlier that I wouldn't do that to her. So it caused me great grief to do so, although I knew that is where she had to be.

She has now been in the Nursing Home for almost two years. Her health always goes up and down, a few good days here and there, then 2 weeks of catatonia. I feel for anyone who has a relative with Alzheimer's, it tears families apart, and watching your loved ones fade away so rapidly is devastating. They forget who you are, some days Mom doesn't even know my name, and I can't begin to describe to you how that feels. I am the youngest of her children, and she left me in charge of everything. This is not a good thing, I have 8 other siblings, and there are only 3 of them that will even help me at all, and go and see her. Some of the siblings have never even went to visit her. They always have excuses like "I don't want to remember Mom that way", well how do they think it makes her feel? This saddens me so much.

Well recently, a new round of experimental drugs, have made her memory sharpen up. I am happy, but this opens up a whole new barrel of problems. She gets some brain function back, and she thinks she is well. Every visit she begs me to come home. I try to explain to her that she is in no condition to be at home, but she is like a child in this manner. She now gets nurses to call me at work, so she can talk to me, and beg me to come home. This is the hardest thing that I have ever dealt with. Try to imagine telling your Mother, that she can't come home with you. It is horrible, she has lost all reasoning and takes it only as rejection. If there is a higher power of some sort, I hope that there is an end to her suffering. She lived her life"the christian way", and I have listened to her for hours, begging for her god to take her home. Yet, she still lies there, almost 4 years later, in the same condition.

There really isn't a "moral" or "point" to this story, I just need to unload from time to time. I also hope that people take this disease seriously, because it is no joke! It could happen to anyone in your family as well. Please make donations to charities and medical funds that support the cure for Alzheimer's. If it hits your family, it will test all boundaries, so make sure your family foundations are strong. If it weren't for Jeff, I do not know where I would be today. I damned sure couldn't have done it all alone. Today, was an extremely bad day, and he stepped up to the plate, and handled things when I fell apart, and for that I love him.