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Monday, July 5, 2010

Rock N' Roll Nightmare(1987)

First off, let me say that Rock N' Roll Nightmare is one of the worst films that I have ever had the displeasure of seeing. It belongs in the short-lived sub genre of "Heavy Metal Horror" that was popular for a minute in the 1980's. There are some semi-redeeming films that came out of said genre, like Rocktober Blood, Hard Rock Zombies, and Trick Or Treat. But this one doesn't have any redeeming factors at all, unless you just enjoy laughing at bad music and bad performances and bottom of the barrel special effects. I will give the filmmakers some credit, as this was only made for the paltry amount of $50,000, and the location is pretty cool.

The story concerns a hard rock/heavy metal band called Tritonz, and their lead singer Jon Triton(Canadian muscle head/rocker Jon Mikl Thor). They rent an old farmhouse in rural Toronto(??), where a family was massacred by an unseen force years ago. They have converted the barn into a 24 track studio, and plan to rehearse for their new album/ tour that they are about to undertake. They bring along their goofy manager and girlfriends and assorted bimbo's for their 5 week stay. They barely make it a day when we see a small "demon", that looks like a cycloptic penis, and it starts possessing the guests one by one. Some of them die, and some of them walk around like zombies trying to convert the others into doing evil bidding. I know, the story sounds like many other horror films of that period, and it's obvious that it was heavily influenced by the Evil Dead films. The problem other than what I mentioned before, is that the plot makes absolutely no sense! It goes from one scene to another, with no explanation at all for what is causing it to happen. Also, when they are not rocking out to their horrible(even for the 80's) tunes, they are having sex! The sex scenes go on forever, and are disgusting! The actors are not attractive, so there is no excuse for a 5 minute sex scene between ugly people. The ending doesn't make sense either. Jon turns into some "archangel" with a studded codpiece, and there is a killer starfish looking creature, that looks like your little brother made it with Play-Doh.

I am usually a sucker for bad films like this, but I cannot recommend this to anyone with a clear conscience. Unless you have "bad movie nights" or something like that, then it will still be a chore to get through. They did make a sequel(I thought there had to be a demand for such a thing?) in 2005 called Intercessor: Another Rock N' Roll Nightmare, but unless I am feeling really sadistic, I think I will pass on that, I have a feeling that you should as well.

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